From One Pack Leader To Another: Five Lessons Of Leadership

Late in a career that has been filled with countless lessons, some hard and some simple, I’ve had a chance to think through the highlight lessons of leadership. These are the five lessons that have stood out for me.

1. Relationships are more important than I had realized.

I believe the early stages of leadership—after you’ve gained experience, mastered your field, received more responsibility and been recognized as a leader—are all about building relationships. That includes relationships with your peers, relationships with clients, relationships with other leaders, relationships with mentors, relationships with vendors and pure friendships. All of these form a vast network of support, counsel, further learning, success and yes, sometimes a backstop and a consolation for failures.

There was a time I thought I had to personally know all the answers.

I was wrong. I needed to know the people who would work together with me to find the answers.

2. Work-life balance does not really exist.

This is a provocative take, I know. But even saying the words “work-life balance” implies that we should make the two equal.

The fact is that the one—work—is a part of the other—life. Work will sometimes get in the way of life, because work is life, and it often leads to life. Human beings who are filled with life will also work, which as some have said is simply offering our gifts to meet the world’s needs. Work is a part of who we are.

What do you do when you recognize that there is no work-life balance to be found?

I think the key is to be there, wherever you are. If you have a deadline or a complex project, you commit to getting it done. That sometimes means going hard all week and into the weekend. When you are at work, you are at work fully.

But when you are with family, at your son’s sports league or your daughter’s school play or attending a wedding or a funeral—be fully there as well. Don’t try to divide yourself, check email, call into the office, act as if you are necessary for the office to survive. Be there with your family, friends or even alone with your hobby or rest. Be fully there.

You won’t be balanced. You’ll be present.

3. The future is more important than the past.

This principle came easily for me. I don’t think backwards. I look forward. I’ve never had much of a favorite in anything—a favorite vacation, a favorite food. My favorite vacation has not happened yet. My favorite food? I may not have cooked it yet.

Leadership always includes a visionary component that looks forward, that drives to the future. In every single industry, massive changes are taking place. Even something as once traditional and sacred as college sports is changing exponentially through the NIL and responses to it. The accounting industry is the same. Competing adeptly will necessarily involve getting much bigger. This is the reality.

In order to compete and win within your industry, companies must change, grow and remain relevant.

The question to answer is not whether the company or the industry will change. It is in how it will radically change and how you and others will make the right decisions for the future.

4. We do not appreciate deep experience enough.

Leadership involves growing in confidence. But growing in confidence involves amassing experience over time.

Did I really appreciate the people with experience when I began the path of leadership? I don’t think I did. When you are new or young, you do not know what you do not have. It’s hard to appreciate something that is not already in your skillset.

In football or any other high pressure fast-paced team sport, sportscasters have noted how much an experienced quarterback like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning or Patrick Mahomes seemed to be able to slow the game down. They seem to have all the time in the world to see the field before them, recognize a blitz, make decisions, target a receiver, release the ball.

But the game has not slowed down at all. In fact, over the years the game has gotten faster, stronger, harder and more powerful.

It is the experience of the quarterback that slows the game down enough for him to make great decisions.

Incredibly, when a new quarterback enters the game today, he steps into a version of the game that is more complex and demanding than it was a decade ago—yet he brings the same lack of experience that any rookie has always had. The game has advanced, but the newcomer’s starting point hasn’t. Until he plays at that level, he can’t fully grasp the speed, pressure or decisions required.

You must grind through the game. Get sacked. Get bloodied. Fall down. Get up again. And do it over and over again before, someday, the game will slow down for you as well.

5. You do not get to define your legacy as a leader.

As you move from one role to another, it is the people who will define your legacy, not you. You have many choices before you. You can choose your behaviors, your values, your goals, your philosophies, your relationships, where you spend your time . . .you can choose, as best you are able, to do the right thing.

But you cannot choose your legacy. Recognizing this reality is humbling. And it requires that we do not take ourselves too seriously. Do your best. Work hard. But the people who follow us get to decide what of value or permanence we have left behind.

That’s the way it should be.